Monday, January 19, 2009

Depression Stinks

I have been in a serious funk. In November, my life took me by my feet, turned me upside down and shook the rest of what I had left tucked into my pockets onto the floor. It has been a seriously tough few years, but that was it. I hit my rock bottom and decided to get help. It is very personal and I don't want to go into it until I get my mini-series deal about my life, but just know that I am on the way back and I apologize for anything I may or may not have done.

Sometimes, we can get in our own ways. The dialogue that goes through my head is tougher than anything I would ever say out loud. I am my own worst enemy...wait, did I just quote Pink? That may have to be my new low. Anyway, I just don't get it? Why I have to continue to learn the same lessons over and over again.

BUT...I am back to blogging. I find it cathartic to share my thoughts with others. And I think I am to a place now that I won't be spreading the funk. But rather I am taking it day by day and learning who I want to be and finally let go of all of those expectations of others.

Music helps...so go create a "happy" station on http://www.pandora.com/.

Have a great day!

5 comments:

sarawithnoh said...

Know that recognizing you're hitting bottom is one of the most important things. You are here for a reason. Keep on truckin and know that you come out on the other side knowing how strong you really are. Pandora rocks and sometimes a little High School Musical can make the world right for 3:24!

jenzai said...

Girl, we seriously need to get together. There are parallels I'm telling you, parallels. The great thing about rock bottom? It doesn't get any deeper. Though some wise (and incredibly annoying) soul once told me that I hit bottom whenever I decide to stop digging. God, I hate smart asses like that.

I am so glad to see you back on the interwebs. And seriously, next time, please feel free to pick up that 1000 lb. phone and call me to come and bring you chocolates or take your kids to the park or just sit and listen. I may be a smart ass, but by God I can listen with the best of them. The other good thing about rock bottom? Thank goodness we don't all hit it on the same day. I'm thinkin' about you and sending you lots of good juju...

Kim said...

thanks for being so open about being in a funk. It's not easy to be transparent, but it shows integrity... November and most of December were like that for me, too, so I understand... and when I started blogging again, it helped me too - yes, cathartic is what blogging is for me as well!
I love you and you've been on my mind, and I've been praying for you, and I'm THRILLED that you're blogging again when you can get the chance. Please don't guilt yourself over any of it... we'll take an Angela blog entry whenever we can get it. :) I LOVE your blog. Let the ideas/thoughts/questions/stories fly!

Mommy of Three! said...

Glad you are back.....we missed you!

Katie Lady said...

I'm glad to see you back in the blogosphere, and sorry to hear you've had some tough times. I'm a good listener, too.