Walking through the door Dr. King kicked down

This young lady, Tamia Gaines, makes some great points about creating the world we want to live in. Have we helped create the world that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of? This video is a wonderful resource for parents when explaining what we are celebrating today. The best thing we can do is to get up and help others in memory of one of the greatest men in our history.

Have a great day!

-Ang

Guilty Pleasures

Why oh why do I love silly reality shows? Probably because they are the furthest thing from my reality and most of these people are so whack that it makes me feel really good about myself. OK...all kidding aside. Millionaire Matchmaker...genius. Deadliest Catch...perfection. But my latest obesession...wait for it...wait for it...is Storage Wars!

It doesn't have the emotional depth of matchmaker or the complex relationships of DC, but the lottery-like suspense of each storage unit is quite gratifying. Add that to the unspoken complexity of the people who abandon these treasure troves and it all equals one gratifying hour of reality tv.

That reminds me...I need to go see who gets Chopped.

Photo Break

It's killing me that I don't have any new pictures up from the snow today...technical difficulties. So here are the kids on the hunt for our Christmas tree last month. It was an amazing day!

NeedLess Challenge of the Week

Reconnect.

With a friend...with a child...with your spouse...or even with yourself.

Take time this week to evaluate those relationships you value most and reconnect. If it is a difficult situation that needs more time then just start thinking about the possibility of reconnecting.

I have friends that I haven't seen or talked to (real life chat...not facebook chat) in years. Don't get me wrong. I dig facebook for catching up with old friends and keeping up with current friends...but there is nothing better than reconnecting with an old friend. I did it last summer in NYC and I hope to do it this weekend in OKC. There are just certain people that make my life richer and I need to focus on nurturing those relationships...and letting go of the ones that don't.

Connection is what it's all about! So reach out and let me know how it goes!

-Ang

Sprinkle - High, Low, Ha!

Years ago I saw a movie that I can't even remember the name of - Michelle Pfeiffer was in it I think - but there was one part that stayed with me. At dinner each night the family would share their "high, low" of the day. It served as a springboard for conversations that got the kids thinking beyond "what did you do today?" So ever since my kids could speak we have been playing high, low, ha! Sometimes in the car after I pick them up from school, but most often during dinner, we each share the best thing that happened that day, the worst thing that happened that day and the funniest thing that happened that day.

It's not perfect. Sometimes the kids talk all over each other and argue about who gets to go first, but I love it...it's most often my high!

Just Two Little Words...

"It's snowing!" Two words we rarely hear in Dallas, but I love it! The kids are rushing through the house yelling and planning what they will do when it finally accumulates. Yesterday we bought carrots at the grocery store in anticipation of the snow - a must-have for any dignified snow man - but I honestly thought I would be throwing them in this week's pot of veggie soup.

"But it's here! It's finally here!" My sweet Lu just exclaimed. So off to help prepare the kids for this rare Texas treat. Pictures coming soon!

-Ang

NeedLess Approval

What's normal? And who even says normal anymore without putting the "finger quotes" around it? Normal is the definition of what is socially acceptable to a certain set of people, right? So you work to find friends who have the same normal as you or you find a normal you aspire to achieve and then hide your realities in order to fit in. (FYI...The first option is the healthier of the two.)

I remember the first time I heard the saying "you are only as sick as your secrets" and I thought what in the world are they talking about? No one knows my secrets, therefore no one knows I am sick. My ambition in life was to work as hard as I could to get the approval of others in order for them not to see... that inside I was really a mess.

It was a dangerous addiction...yes, I said addiction. Approval addiction is alive and well in the lives of many people. Think about it...so many problems we have as a society comes from trying to get the approval of others.

As a teenager, I would do things that I knew were dangerous, or against my own internal compass, in order to receive the approval of others. As a young adult, I would buy things that I couldn't afford in order to receive social approval. And as a woman, I used to work myself to the bone to be the best fill in the blank (mom, employee, wife, friend, daughter) I knew. You see, I was self-medicating because I was unknowingly suffering from depression. I would actually get a high from the approval of others and that would help me "cope" with the self-loathing internal dialogue that constantly ran in my head.

I thought if I could keep my friends at arm's length then they would never know the real me. The problem was when you push people away you tend to lose friends. Never because of a big blow out (well, ok, maybe once) but mostly my friendships have simply faded away. I didn't want to do the work on myself in order reciprocate any kind of intimacy, but that all changed in the fall of 2008.

My life fell apart and as I started rebuilding I learned that living an authentic life was the only way I was going to survive. So slowly and surely, I have made my way out of the clouds of depression. Sure, I still have down days and I still struggle sometimes with approval addiction; but I am able to recognize it and remove myself from the situation before I say, do, or buy something I will regret.

NeedLess Deal of the Week

One of my resolutions is to spend more time with the hubby, but I also don't want to bust the budget. I am determined to have date nights for $100 or less (including babysitter). Sound impossible? Well, check out this week's deal at restaurant.com - purchase $25 gift certificates for $5 each.

We used a gift certificate from restaurant.com a few weeks ago while we were in Austin and it was great! A $25 gift certificate for $5. There are restrictions to using the gift certificate - you can only use one per visit and they automatically include the tip based on your total prior to applying the gift certificate and they aren't available everywhere...but other than that, they're awesome!

Happy Date Night!!!

What does it mean to be NeedLess?

Being NeedLess doesn't mean being complacent. It just means reframing your current situation in order to live authentically today...not tomorrow, not yesterday, but right now. The goal is to be the best version of yourself with what you have at this very moment.

Back on the Blogging Train!

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit
there." - Will Rogers

Maybe it's the Oklahoma girl in me or maybe it's because my little boy adores trains or maybe it's because I can relate to what it feels like to be run over - whatever it is - this quote resonates with me today.

I feel like I was on the right track for a while, but lately I feel as though I have been left at the station collecting dust. I know, I know...the New Year is full of resolutions that most people forget by Valentine's day, but this year I resolve to take care of myself. That's it - nothing earth shattering - just evaluate what's working and what's not and make the necessary changes I need in order to be the best me I can be.

The last two years have been completely life altering. On December 8, 2008, I went back to work full-time after being a stay-at-home mom for over 5 years. It was like being shot out of a cannon. Friends ask me all of the time, "Which is harder- staying at home or working?" And I answer it like I answer most comparisons - "it depends." For me it is easier to go to work every day because of the financial uncertainty we had as a family with two young entrepreneurs. But the mommy guilt can get pretty intense sometimes. Balance is the key.

So that's where I am today - trying to balance the demands of being a wife, a working mother of three young kids and not lose myself in a sea of unrealistic expectations. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Martin Luther King Jr.

Check out this video! AWESOME!


http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1194962/john_legend_performs_pride_in_the_name_of_love/


I dig MLK Jr. and everything that he accomplished. I have to admit growing up, I really didn't get it. So I am trying to show my kids how different America was just a couple of generations ago. There are so many wonderful children's books that help them understand that we are "different but the same." And I LOVE that. I feel that the purpose of my life is to reach out to others and share what gifts I have to offer. I may not be able to change the world through politics or writing a best seller, but I can make some homeless people tuna sandwiches, or take portraits for at-risk children, or even just be an example of God's love in the lives of my children.

Mother Theresa once wrote that if we all just swept our own front porches, then this world would be a better place. So start at home. TODAY! Go grab your kids or friends or husband or cat and do something for someone else. Teach them that there is a world that needs them and that they are valuable right now. We are going to make Valentine's today. Someone in our church is going to deliver them to people in Hospice care in a few weeks. I am not telling you this to toot our horn, I am just telling you this so you can know how simple it can be. Pick something and make a difference on this day!

"by all means...keep moving!"

Depression Stinks

I have been in a serious funk. In November, my life took me by my feet, turned me upside down and shook the rest of what I had left tucked into my pockets onto the floor. It has been a seriously tough few years, but that was it. I hit my rock bottom and decided to get help. It is very personal and I don't want to go into it until I get my mini-series deal about my life, but just know that I am on the way back and I apologize for anything I may or may not have done.

Sometimes, we can get in our own ways. The dialogue that goes through my head is tougher than anything I would ever say out loud. I am my own worst enemy...wait, did I just quote Pink? That may have to be my new low. Anyway, I just don't get it? Why I have to continue to learn the same lessons over and over again.

BUT...I am back to blogging. I find it cathartic to share my thoughts with others. And I think I am to a place now that I won't be spreading the funk. But rather I am taking it day by day and learning who I want to be and finally let go of all of those expectations of others.

Music helps...so go create a "happy" station on http://www.pandora.com/.

Have a great day!

The Joy of a NeedLess Blog

Hi my friends-

So here's the thing...

I am absolutely knee deep in Christmas card orders and last minute holiday photo sessions. And since this blog is all about simplifying I am focusing on getting my orders complete for my clients before the holidays so I can enjoy them with my family.

I have some fun things I am doing for Thanksgiving and will share this weekend. One of them I got from the website FamilyFun.com. It's great...and somewhat realistic.

So slow down and enjoy the holidays. I will be back in no time!

Angela

What's Cookin'?

Not sure what's going on with this pic...it looks much better than this...or I wouldn't eat it.

I do not consider myself a cook as much as I am a coordinator of food. Some people have the gift of creativity in the kitchen and I am in awe of that talent. But for my family they eat very simple dishes with some (dare I say?) prepackaged/prepared foods.

Ahhhh! The organic police have probably sounded the alarms, but whatever. Rice-a-roni is still king and Stove Top Stuffing can pull up a chair too. After all...my kid's don't really eat...they graze. In fact, right now as I type dinner is ready...but they are still full from the bananas they had earlier to counteract the Halloween candy they had before that.

Life is about balance. Some prefer to carefully walk down the middle, but I prefer to zig zag my way through life.

Dinner tonight: Chinese Steak and Cous Cous

The meat is some cut of steak that a friend gave me from their share of a cow. (Yes, we are in Texas.) With garlic and herb cous cous (packaged) and steamed edamame (frozen).

All I did was throw some sesame oil in a skillet, brown the steak and then right when it was done I put soy sauce and garlic on the steak and then added some fresh spinach on top of it all. Put the lid on, took it off the heat. Made the cous cous in 5 minutes while I microwaved the edamame. Super easy and tasty.

I usually serve dinner up family style on this cool white plate that someone left at my cookie swap party in 2006. If it is yours, so sorry...but you are not getting it back. It is now an heirloom.

Happy Election Day!

NeedLess Deal of the Week (Nov. 3 - 10)

Ione: Honey, don't waste good lip gloss.
Andie: I don't know what I'm doing.
Ione: Wishful make-upping.

You won't believe this deal!

Makeup for $1 at http://www.eyeslipsface.com/ And not a moment too soon since my kids have taken my makeup brushes hostage and my blush is in a million pieces.

The word on the street is that Nordstrom bought e.l.f. out and they need to sell their current merchandise since they will be changing the packaging. Whatever the reason...I just scored a whole new face of makeup for a little over 20 bucks.

Enter the code ECTUTAY when you check out for an additional 25% off!

I "splurged" on a few things, but here's what I ordered:

Natural radiance blusher - $1
Brightening eye liner - $1
Wet gloss lash and brow mascara - $1
Brightening eye color - $1
2 Plumping lip glazes - $2
Shimmering facial whip - $1
Clarifying pressed powder - $1
Shielding hydro-tint - $1
Glow/fair concealer - $3
Lengthening mascara - $3
Travel makeup brush kit - $5
Dark red nail polish - $1

subtotal - $21
minus discount of $5.25
plus shipping $6.95


grand total $22.70


I love getting new makeup! I will just have to keep it out of the reach of my little bloodhounds. They can smell out anything new and destroy it in record time.

Don't need or use make-up? Then buy some plumping lip gloss for your mom/sister/wife/girlfriend/daughter for a stocking stuffer or a quick pick-me-up.

No matter what age every girl feels better with cute sunglasses and lots of lip gloss!!!

What will my grandchildren say about me?

As many of you know, Obama's grandmother passed away last night in her home in Honolulu. She played a vital role in the life of Obama and no matter what side of the political fence you are on...or if you are riding it...you must agree that a woman who could impact her grandchildren in such a way must have been amazing.

In a statement released today Barack and his sister said this about their grandmother...

"She was the cornerstone of our family, and a woman of extraordinary accomplishment, strength and humility. She was the person who encouraged us to take chances."

Don't you LOVE that! I am going to hang that on my fridge to remind me of the power we have as mom's and (someday) grandmother's to positively affect those around us.

My passion for many years was to be a missionary in Africa...to help...not to evangelize. But that dream fell short due to some medical complications. So after many weeks of counseling I came to terms with the fact that I gave up my backpack and Birkenstocks (it was the nineties) for an equally fulfilling and challenging mission of being a wife and mother to my sweet little family.

God works through us....not always in the way that we want...but in the way that we need.

So live in the moment! Share what you have with who you're with and enjoy this life!

Facebook Powers Activate!

Hi Friends...if you've just joined us via Facebook then WELCOME! (If you are not on Facebook...then go now, quick...it's awesome! And then join the "Friends of The NeedLess Experiment" group.)

So here's the scoop...

We are a fun group of people (okay, mostly cool moms) who are trying to live a simple and happy life. No comparing...no judgements...no keeping up appearances...just a place to try and figure out what is important, share what works and then let go of the rest.

The site is still in the very beginning, but browse around, have fun, and if you want to pass the word then we will welcome whomever you send.

Have a great day today!

NeedLess Guilt

Today at my MOPS group we had an awesome speaker named Paige McCoy Smith. You local Dallas mom's may recognize her from Good Morning Texas. She is The (not so) Perfect Parent. It was great! All about letting go of the guilt.

You know that guilty feeling you have after exploding at your children when they have (for the fifteenth time) asked for the Halloween candy in the pantry...just an example. Not that it has happened to me...today.

Or the guilt we feel after chatting with Neighbor Nancy who is the "perfect" mom and chairs the school fundraiser, while teaching her children a third language, while preparing a healthy dinner in her perfectly clean kitchen in her amazingly decorated house that is probably paid for ten years ahead of schedule just because they had the extra cash from selling the eggs she raises in her chicken coop in the backyard. You know you know someone like this...but let me tell you something - she has her dark days too. We just can't see them behind her Chanel sunglasses.

The problem with guilt is that it doesn't really do anything healthy. It is not a meaningful motivator. If you are doing something out of guilt instead of joy then you are really just selling yourself and your family short. And most guilt comes from comparing. So stop!

I always compare myself to ultra-organized moms who seem to have it all together. (Which, of course is comparing my weakness to their strength. Not fair at all.) I make myself crazy. But my sweet friend made me feel good today when she said, "the same trait that leads to your disorganization is the same trait that compels you to make Kleenex ghosts with your kids."

Sniffles...I love my friends...where are those dang tissues now?!?

So let your hair down ladies and be real with each other. You will be much happier and you won't have to pretend that everything is alright all of the time. Face it - houses get messy, kids get messy and lives get messy. It's okay. That's what makes life interesting!

Spooky Tree complete? Check.

Alright, so we wrapped up our Spooky Tree Centerpiece before Halloween. I like to be pretty hands off during their art projects, so I wanted to figure a way out of drawing cats and bats and witches myself. Then, when I was searching my pantry for something sweet, I found Halloween cookie cutters still in the package. What a fun surprise! See sometimes it is good to be unorganized...one minute you are digging around for some chocolate and the next you have found something you didn't even know you had.

Anyway, Lulu got in on the fun this time with Molly and little man stayed busy by jumping off the arm of the couch into a huge pile of laundry. More proof that I don't do it all...and that laundry is still my nemesis. Darn you dirty clothes...I say with my fist to the sky.

Looking for me?

I am around...just crazy busy with photography business stuff. 'Tis the season. Yeah for holiday family photos. It is always such a great way to finish up the year.


If you are ever wondering where I am check here and keep up with my business happenings. But I will also continue posting NeedLess stuff.